The emotional costs of selling the family home

The couple prepared for the move by modernising the family home to maximise its sale value. "We increased the living space and made an extension to the back deck to make the house more modern, and over the years our renovations added $400,000 to the value of the house, which sold in two weeks," she says. "Of course when you're renovating, you have to be careful not to over-capitalise by making your house too expensive for the suburb."

In Coolangatta, Daniella and Barry now enjoy ocean views from a high-rise apartment where the weather is warmer and their lifestyle is considerably more casual and easy-going than it was in Sydney. But there are downsides.

"You have to put up with holiday makers coming and going, and there aren't so many restaurants or cultural opportunities as there were in the city," Daniella says. "I enjoy enrolling in language courses, but you don't get many to choose from up on the coast. And there are a lot of retirees up here, which you may or may not like if you still have the attitude of a young person."

The other risk with downsizing or making a sea change is you may not be able to move back to your old neighbourhood if you change your mind.

"Anybody who bought property up the coast three years ago would be losing money now because prices have fallen since the global financial crisis," Daniella says. "Making a sea change is a big step because buying and selling is very expensive, you have to spend money on stamp duty, removalists, real estate agents and lawyers. Most people can't afford to do that multiple times."

Luckily, when the couple's daughter Olivia gave birth to their first grandson last September, they had enough money saved to buy a second property back in Lindfield, Sydney.

Now they have the best of both worlds — a coastal apartment for the winter months, and a Sydney home for the rest of the year, so they can be close to all their grandchildren and friends.

John and Maria sold their family home in Turramurra to move closer to their children in Cherrybrook. Originally, they bought the Cherrybrook home as an investment property, but it wasn't long before they decided to make the investment property their home.

"I was very happy in Turramurra. I liked the surrounds and I liked the people. But suddenly everything changed. When we moved to Turramurra, we were the youngest family," John says.

"Thirty-odd years later we found ourselves surrounded by young people who were smokers, one of our neighbours was driving a forklift all day, and their kids were trampling my garden," he says.

"As much as we loved our family home, we wanted to move closer to our children to a quieter home with a smaller garden and no swimming pool. I'd already had one heart attack, so the idea was to increase our leisure time by having less work to do maintaining a smaller house," he says.

But there are things they miss. "My biggest regret is that I left a better garden than what I came to," John says. "I've rearranged the garden here and planted many young trees, but I will never see them grow to their full size. Maria's biggest regret is leaving a lot of her friends behind, so she feels more isolated, although we've actually moved less than half-an-hour's drive away from our old suburb."

At the end of the day, selling the family home is not a decision that should be rushed.

"You have to do your homework. Make sure you can afford whatever you buy, and leave a little money leftover so you don't feel trapped," Daniella says. "If you're careful, downsizing to a quieter neighbourhood can make a very positive impact on your quality of life."

This story is the second in a three-part series on property and retirement.

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